Blueprints

Our sweet neighbors were burnt out of their home many weeks ago. It has been so many weeks ago now that we on the street are puzzled at how quiet it is over there.

Following the fire, our little street was a beehive of activity: fire trucks & fire engines, aid cars, the fire chief's own vehicle, Red Cross representives, animal control, and someone from the city whose purpose I never did learn. As afternoon eased into evening on that crazy day, the parade continued: the fire department showed up every hour or so to keep an eyes on things, the police rolled by every so often, the insurance company sent a contractor to board up the windows, and then, just as things got quiet, an alarming number of dog walkers and joggers stopped to gawk as they "just happened to be passing by" our tiny deadend street. Over the next few days and weeks, investigators, adjustors, and salvagers came and went.

What a circus!

But now, it is quiet. It has been almost 12 weeks since the insurance company made the decision to have the house demolished and rebuilt. It has been at least 6 weeks since anyone has attempted to enter the burnt-out shell for any reason...unless you count the family of boisterous raccoons that had to be evicted.

I expected the demolition and rebuilding to begin in May, but nothing happened. June and July passed; it is now the middle of August and there is no sign of activity.

I asked the family what was happening, and was puzzled by the answer: they do not wish to bulldoze the house until they have a complete plan for the new one. They acknowledge that any plan for a new home will include demolishing the old house and clearing the property, but they cannot quite bring themselves to start this process until they know exactly how it will all end. The old house is worthless, but they cling to it because it is here and it is known; the new house - as beautiful and useful as it will be - is not yet visable.

If someone were to ask my advice - alas, no one has! - I would saythis: "Let it go and let God give you more than you imagine."

When I was 15 years old I met a young man and immediately fell in love. We were just good friends for years, and began dating unexpectedly when I was a senior in high school. We were obviously too young to be serious, but I knew in my heart he was the one. A few happy years passed - we stumble into our fledgling adulthood, a part of a supportive group of young Christian friends, still dating regularly, but not really considering the future. Then, suddently, we broke up. I never really understood why, and I don't believe he did either.

I was stunned, and immediately started bargaining with God about the whole thing. In all my 19-year-old wisdom and maturity, I explained to God how this young man and I could do great things for God if only He (God) would arrange for the other he (my young man) and I to get back together. I had a plan. I have always been good with plans.

God did not rise to the challenge of fulfilling my plan, which surprised me at the time. After several weeks of wrestling with God over this issue, I found myself on my knees - actually, flat on my face - acknowledging that God was God and I was not God - now, there's a revelation! - and that I would serve Him no matter what He chose to do or chose not to do in my life. After the darkest night my young soul had known, I let that young man go. Just let him go.

The story has twist...we will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary this week. :)

Although the growth has been irradict, I have, over the years, gotten much better at letting God make the plans instead of just trying to get Him to approve mine. I am learning to let him clear away the old things and start rebuilding the new even before I know all the details.

More on this later.